Disney Couples Therapy: Session Six

– He used to get so
excited to come home and bury his treasure inside me. (chuckles) But lately, it’s like there’s a shadow over us. I have put on a few pounds over the years. They say that old sins cast long shadows. Regardless, there’s not a shadow of a doubt that something is off. And if we have to keep pounding away, it’ll be worth it in the end. – Why do you ask? – Are you with the Chinese government? (sighs loudly) (chuckles) – Okay, cool, yeah. I mean, we’ve got a little one. – Yeah, and if anyone asks,
it’s definitely a boy. – Definitely. – Little fighter. She’ll bring honor to us all. – Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. – When we were dating I’d, see the way he’d work his
tongue around the swamp, and think, mm, I see you. I see you, boo. Well, his tongue is just about as lazy as he is. – Oh my god. I think maybe someone is
just too hard to please. – Maybe someone isn’t hard at all. – Ooh. – You never listen to me! How many times do I have to remind you to not squeeze the toothpaste
from the middle of– – I’ve got one hand, Smee! I’ve got to hold my brush in one hand and bite down on the tube! – And what about the toilet paper? You have to leave it on the counter? You can’t put it back on the roll? – Hello! – That’s just an excuse for laziness. – Look at me. Will I ever pass as a perfect bride? Or a perfect daughter? Can it be that I’m not
meant to play this part? – Could it be me that’s
too hard to please? ‘Cause you haven’t tried. Mama Odie could find a
paperclip in a junk drawer quicker than you could find my G-spot. And she’s blind as a bat. – Well, then, maybe, Mama Odie should find your G-spot. – Maybe she should. – Now, I see, if I were
truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart! (sobs) – Honey, I agree with you a thousand percent. I’m gonna get some boba tea now, okay? You’re doing great. Just keep going. – Why won’t you just love me?! (sobs) Love me! What am I doing? – We should’ve kept Genie around. I mean, he could’ve been a nanny. – Slavery. – Dammit. – Apparently, he liked giving warm hugs to the bitch across the street. Guess I couldn’t let it go.

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